Picking up the Tab

This week’s challenge appeared out of the blue. Some friends and I were sitting around a kitchen table after dinner, someone mentioned loving Tab, I said I’d never tried it, the other two said they hadn’t either, and BAM we were off to the store. Marcie, the Tab-lover, was on a mission to find it and to make us love it.


I don’t know why I never tried it in the 80s. I certainly saw all of the commercials.

We had the Jane Fonda workout videos, so why not Tab? Don’t those two usually go hand in hand?

I think it’s because at that time, mine was a teetotaling family when it came to caffeine. Years later, when I was a teenager and my mom had relaxed her rules a bit, a young neighbor (who couldn’t say her R’s – the story’s much better when read without R’s) came over and said, “You’re not Mormon, are you?” Her reason for questioning our faithfulness? The bottle of Diet Coke in the fridge.

Whatever the reason I lived this long without trying Tab, Marcie was determined that I not wait another minute. Here she is speed-walking to the soda aisle to beat out anyone else who might be out to get the last 12-pack before us.


Whew! We beat the crowd and got there just in the nick of time. What a relief!


Marcie then taught us the proper way to drink Tab. I’ll let her explain it in her own words.

We followed her instructions to the letter, including the sniff:

 And it wasn’t bad. I think Tab gets a bad rap. I mean, it was definitely a diet drink. I think nowadays, sodas try to make their diet drinks taste like they’re not diet. Not Tab. Their ad campaign wasn’t really about taste anyway. It was all about becoming skinny and beautiful – a mindsticker. (How that creepy one made it past the first pitch meeting, I’ll never know.)


So why not be like Tab? Why not own your diet-ness? Be yourself and be proud of it!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying Tab will replace Diet Mt. Dew for me, but it wasn’t too bad, especially with the proper ratio of ice and lime combined with the proper swishing technique. I kind of liked it. After all, at least it wasn’t Pepsi.



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